MY STORY OF BECOMING A MUM FOR THE THIRD TIME

Three times a mummy

Valentines Day

Valentines Day to me, appears to be day that basically just kicks single people in the teeth

I have never really been bothered about it whilst in a relationship, but when I was single seeing symbols of love plastered about everyone just seemed to rubbed salt in the wound

In the past the hubs and I have exchanged cards and token small gift such as roses and chocolates, but this year now the boys are getting older I have made more of a fuss and talked about how it’s a day to acknowledge the people you love. Not in a romantic way, but in a kind of way that shows them how lucky they are to have people who they love and how blessed they are to be loved

This year I lovingly made each boy a card and absolutely loved seeing their faces as they opened them, and even more so when Bear handed me his empty envelope back telling it he had a card for me

I love how I dreamt of finding the perfect man and ended up with 4 of them ❤️

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It’s a walk in the park

Since entering the world motherhood some 4 years and 3 months ago I have been desperate to find the answer to the following question….

“How can I feel more awake during the day?”

People often tell you “sleep when the baby sleeps“. That is all well and good except that is the only time I have to myself and the only time I get to do most of the housework. And then the baby becomes a toddler and eventually stops napping. I would hate being used to having an afternoon nap and then have it taken away by someone with considerable more energy than myself

I have really been struggling lately and was recommended the following idea….

Go for a walk first thing every morning
Walk for 10 minutes to warm up, 20 minutes of power walking (stopping for nothing) and 10 minutes to cool down

I have been doing this everyday for 2 weeks now (with the help of a very supportive husband who has taken to going into work later to watch the boys whilst I do it) and it works. It really works! I have barely felt the overwhelming desire to sleep all day. I honestly felt exhausted All. The. Time! But not anymore. I can not believe the difference

It gives me some alone time, fresh air, exercise and I actually get to listen to some music I want to listen to! What more could I need?

I have loved getting to know my local area better and seen some lovely views

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The midnight smile

Dear baby,

It’s 2am and wake for a feed

It’s 3:30am, you and I are finally settled, almost back asleep and you decide to fill your nappy

Thanks

I decide just to change it on the bed, willing nothing to leaking out of it. Thanks for cooperating on that matter

My eyes are so heavy. It’s so quiet and dark

I glance over to your dad, peacefully asleep, and probably completely oblivious to the fact that we have been awake

I am jealous of him, and wonder if he really appreciates how hard a breastfeeding mum works. Completely on call 24/7

I know he does appreciate it. I am extremely tired and get far too grumpy in this state. I am so desperate for sleep

As I fasten your clean nappy, you smile

A smile that melts my heart. I hold you close and kiss your check, rewarded with another smile. I stroke your check, and talk to me “agu” and smile

I suddenly go from feeling desperate to be asleep to loving the moment

Loving the quietness of the house and the fact that for this time it’s just the two of us, loving each other

No amount of sleep would be a worthy exchange for this moment

Love Mummy x

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Breastfeeding in public

I have breastfed at home, in McDonalds, the feeding room in Mothercare, in Costa, in church, at the zoo, the cinema and the circus. I have breastfed on the bus and the train. I am pretty much happy to feed everywhere and anywhere. And I am far more concerned with people seeing my fat tummy rather than seeing my breast. We would be so restricted about where we could go if I felt conscious about feeding in public.

I have never experienced a negative comment from anyone whilst feeding on the go. The opposite in fact! Just this week I was feeding my baby in the waiting room at the Health Visitors and was told by a formula feeding mummy how much she wished she could do it. I quite often get told by older ladies how wonderful they think breastfeeding is. I have on a couple of occasions being offered more discrete place to feed my baby, but not in a manner that made me think like they thought I should go somewhere else, more in a concerned manner that I might find it more comfortable.

Reactions to breastfeeding have had a lot of bad press recently. It seems a fair few mummy’s have experienced people making unsupportive comments about nursing in public.

I just want to tell mum’s who may be put off feeding in public because of the fear if being asked to stop by total stranger, that these encounters are rare. And to all remind us mummy’s, that unsupportive comments are very much their problem. Not ours.

I have been feeding Oliver for 4 months now. This is longest one of my boys has had only my breast milk. Jack was only breastfeed for 6 weeks because I became seriously ill. Charlie had donor breast milk in the first week of his life before mine came in. But Oliver has had only mine.

I am rather proud of these chubby cheeks…

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Autumn walk and crafts!

I love autumn

I had been desperate to go an Autumn Walk with the boys, but every time we had the chance, it rained ☔️ that’s the down side of autumn

I know we could have gone in the rain, but I want to collect some nice crisp leaves 🍂🍁🌿. Not easy in the rain

It rained pretty much all last week, except Saturday and we had a free Saturday afternoon. So, we went on a walk to collect some Autumn things

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We collected beautifully coloured leaves, sticks, pine cones and acorns 🌰(unfortunately there wasn’t any conkers in the park)

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We laid them out to dry and day after with acorns and tooth picks we made these…..

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An acorn superhero

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An acorn reindeer

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An acorn butterfly (I know it doesn’t look much like one, but Jack said it is!)

We had so much fun and had some lovely family time! The boys were so well behaved because they were in their favourite place – the park! And Jack got chance to be able see and talk about all the autumn things he has been learning at school

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An university education…

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Yesterday marked the 10 year anniversary of me starting university, at least that’s what my friend told. I trust her, so I guess I’ll take her word for it

I studied Applied Criminology. When I started the course I planned on going on to do a post graduate degree in law and becoming a rich criminal lawyer, going to work in the city in a flash car, designer suit and fabulous stilettos. I was far more concerned about a job title and how I looked than anything else

1O years, where am I? I am at home with a 15 week old baby boy asleep upstairs, a 2 year old in his cot about to have a nap and 4 year old spending his 3rd full week at school. Husband at work. I am enjoying a little lunch break – something I rarely get (if occasionally happens when nap times overlap). My clothes are nowhere near designer (next is the closet I get!), I am still learning to drive and flat shoes are so much more comfortable and practical than heels. This is the life I want

My main focus in life is about raising 3 boys who will help bring about good in this world. Who will work hard so their future wife’s can raise their children

I wouldn’t change this job for the world

And although my degree has absolutely nothing to do with being a Stay At Home Mum, without it I doubt would be here now

In was in those three years at university that shaped me. It changed me for the better. I decided that the things that I would come to value in my life didn’t have a financial cost

The experiences I had, and friends I made provided me with the important education I could have received at university

I some times feel like university was a waste of time and money because I haven’t used my degree, but when I look back on the journey my life has taken. University was such an important road. I would be a very different person

And doubt I would have been a happy one at that

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WHAT MOTHERS DO especially when it looks like nothing

Yesterday was a bad day

Monday was a bad day and days got worse as the week went on

Jack was tired from starting school, he had caught a bad cold, making him even more tired, he struggled to sleep because he was coughing, contributing to the tiredness. He was waking up early, which woke Charlie up early, therefore he was a grump because he was tired. I was a grump because I was tired. You get the picture!

Yesterday. Friday. End of the week.

I looked and felt rough (the cold bug had spread). The house was a mess. The ironing pile was the worse it has ever been! All the laundry had pretty much been done (the not good thing), and wardrobes were empty, because it needed sorting, ironing and putting away. The dish washer wasn’t working. Charlie had been foul all day. Jack had been naughty at school. I hadn’t gotten round to making tea yet. Oliver was crying and I felt like joining him. I love motherhood, but today was not fun. I broke down. I yelled at my husband because I was annoyed the house was a mess, I was annoyed we didn’t have enough storage. He just looked at me, he didn’t read my thoughts which were for him to just put his arms around me and tell me I’m doing a good job. I stormed off downstairs and was so close to walking out. Not in a I’m leaving you sense, but in a I really need some fresh air and to get out of here sense. At which point he read my thoughts, he came downstairs and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. Were it not for Oliver needing feeding I would have gone. I felt like a failure. I wasn’t handling motherhood the way I had imagined. Everything was a mess and everyone was grumpy, and it was my fault.

What is the point to this story you may be wondering….well although I calmed down shortly after, and Oliver went to bed at half 8 instead of 10 (giving me a much needed child free break) and I saw this book on the shelf….

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I read this book before having Oliver. I used to have time to read. Not so much now, but I thought about what the book taught me about the day I had had.

Then looked back on the day in a different way. Here are the lessons I learnt which made me less of a failure….
•I was good mum because I had lost sleep comforting, cuddling, rubbing vapour rub on Jack
•The ironing pile was huge because I decided to play and read books to Charlie whilst Oliver napped, rather than ignore him whilst I did chores
•I was tired because I decided to stay up and nurse Oliver than go to bed early and let Daddy give him a bottle (not that there is anything wrong with that, I am just making my list)
•The boys are grumpy because they are tired. There isn’t much I can do about that, other than try to bring a smile to their faces. Which I did. Tea wants made because I was helping then make a big track for their cars

The biggest lesson I learnt was to look at the things I did do, not the things I didn’t.

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Warning! Breastfeeding can seriously harm your child!

Warning! breastfeeding can seriously harm your child

While mine anyway

A few days ago I got accepted to breastfeeding group on Facebook, so whilst I was doing the last feed of the day (which I tend to do laying on the bed), I thought I would have a look at the said Facebook group on my phone, then the phone slipped out of my hand and hit my poor 9 week old on the head. Then silence. Then the almighty cry. The one that makes me feel like the worse mother that ever lived!

It’s lucky that this baby sleeps through the night, as his older brother was a terrible sleeper and as a result ended up with a phone on his head most nights, before you phone Social Services I wasn’t trying to knock him out to make him sleep, I would play on my phone during the night to stop me falling asleep whilst feeding him, but quite often tiredness would get the better of me, and my eyes would start to close and my hand would loose grip of my phone, and bang! right of baby’s head!

So, I have now come to the conclusion that what goodness I give children from breast milk, is totally wasted if I am killing off brain cells by dropping phones on their heads!

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My must-have item: COCONUT OIL

I never thought something so simple could become my lifesaver

I have to have coconut oil on hand at all times

We were first introduced when I trained as a baby massage instructor. It’s an oil recommended as safe to use on babies skin, along with sunflower oil. It’s so pure and delicate!

It’s becoming easier and easier to get hold of. Most supermarkets stock it, and I have in fact seen the same bottle down the food isle as down the beauty isle. It’s so cheap and versatile. I can not rate it enough. If you do already use it, I suggest you do

I have found that is excellent for new mums and mums-to-be

See my list of benefits below, I am sure this only touches the surface, but these are the reasons I like it….

-Rub the oil on to the skin to prevent and provide relief to stretch marks and dry skin

-Applying it to the perineum in the weeks leading up to labour can help prevent tearing

-Applying it to cotton wool when cleaning the babies first few dirty nappies helps the sticky meconium come right off. Personally I find just water and cotton wool pretty hard work

-Can prevent/treat nappy rash

-Can be used to treat cradle cap

-Breast feeding mums can use to it to treat dry/cracked nipples as its perfectly safe for the baby

-All round moisturiser for mother and baby

-Safe and effective to use on eczema

It also has many benefits when used in cooking, which I haven’t yet tried

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I’m finding it hard to be myself

The thing I have found the hardest about the last 7 weeks is the lack of time I have to be myself

The me I know had time to do her hair (to a standard I felt was acceptable). Now I struggle to find a hair brush. One of the big 2 often pick it up to play with, and abandon it somewhere I would never think to look, and I just casually come across it a couple of days later, or it ends up under the big pile of clothes I need to put away. And I cannot remember the last time I used a hair dryer! The natural look does not work for me

The me I know has chance to apply a minimal amount of make up, enough to make me feel like I didn’t look dog rough

The me I know has nice clothes, that fit! I currently have oversized maternity clothes or my regular clothes which fit way too snug!

The me I know has time to maintain her eyebrows, shave her legs, brush her teeth before lunch time and moisturise

I am currently not doing any of these things

I have turned in to the mum I never wanted to be. I some how thought that being a mum who had clothes covered in food/snot/sick, no make up, bags under the eyes and hair tied back into a messy (not in cool way) pony tail was a choice. Not something you are forced in to

This week I have tried really hard to regain some control over myself. To be myself as well as a mother

I have embarked on project moisturise. I am trying to make sure that I make time to cover my body in body lotion so that my flabby, wobbly post pregnancy body can a least be a silky soft one. It’s not going to look good for a while, but it can at least feel nice

Just to clarify, I would not swap mothering my 3 boys for anything I miss. I just want to try and manage being comfortable with myself and being a mummy

Hopefully it’s possible

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