Yesterday was a bad day
Monday was a bad day and days got worse as the week went on
Jack was tired from starting school, he had caught a bad cold, making him even more tired, he struggled to sleep because he was coughing, contributing to the tiredness. He was waking up early, which woke Charlie up early, therefore he was a grump because he was tired. I was a grump because I was tired. You get the picture!
Yesterday. Friday. End of the week.
I looked and felt rough (the cold bug had spread). The house was a mess. The ironing pile was the worse it has ever been! All the laundry had pretty much been done (the not good thing), and wardrobes were empty, because it needed sorting, ironing and putting away. The dish washer wasn’t working. Charlie had been foul all day. Jack had been naughty at school. I hadn’t gotten round to making tea yet. Oliver was crying and I felt like joining him. I love motherhood, but today was not fun. I broke down. I yelled at my husband because I was annoyed the house was a mess, I was annoyed we didn’t have enough storage. He just looked at me, he didn’t read my thoughts which were for him to just put his arms around me and tell me I’m doing a good job. I stormed off downstairs and was so close to walking out. Not in a I’m leaving you sense, but in a I really need some fresh air and to get out of here sense. At which point he read my thoughts, he came downstairs and asked me if I wanted to go for a walk. Were it not for Oliver needing feeding I would have gone. I felt like a failure. I wasn’t handling motherhood the way I had imagined. Everything was a mess and everyone was grumpy, and it was my fault.
What is the point to this story you may be wondering….well although I calmed down shortly after, and Oliver went to bed at half 8 instead of 10 (giving me a much needed child free break) and I saw this book on the shelf….
I read this book before having Oliver. I used to have time to read. Not so much now, but I thought about what the book taught me about the day I had had.
Then looked back on the day in a different way. Here are the lessons I learnt which made me less of a failure….
•I was good mum because I had lost sleep comforting, cuddling, rubbing vapour rub on Jack
•The ironing pile was huge because I decided to play and read books to Charlie whilst Oliver napped, rather than ignore him whilst I did chores
•I was tired because I decided to stay up and nurse Oliver than go to bed early and let Daddy give him a bottle (not that there is anything wrong with that, I am just making my list)
•The boys are grumpy because they are tired. There isn’t much I can do about that, other than try to bring a smile to their faces. Which I did. Tea wants made because I was helping then make a big track for their cars
The biggest lesson I learnt was to look at the things I did do, not the things I didn’t.